Being Made Whole

and the Work (and the Walk) of the Wounded Healer

Photo by Fabian Møller on Unsplash

I recently attended the Anglican Minority Ethnic Network’s (AMEN) first Conference 13-15^th Nov at the Hayes Centre in Swanwick Derbyshire. The theme: ‘Being Made Whole’. We spent three days listening to speakers and reflecting on what it means to be made whole. Among the speakers were: Dr Harvey Kwiyani, who encouraged us to eat the theologies of others around the collective table, Chine McDonald of ‘God is Not a White Man’ fame, Revd Modupe Adeoye, who eloquently used her lived experience to illustrate her points of taking a holistic approach to healing and The Rt Revd Rob Wickham who encouraged us with words of hope.

In his reflection on the final day, Revd Canon Dr Carlton Turner reminded us that, we – as people of Global Majority Heritage (GMH), were never meant to flourish. Instead, we were raped, beaten and abused for the profit of others. Fact. He also reflected on a research project that he worked on with Dr Selina Stone around GMH/UK Minoritized Ethnic clergy well-being, concluding that the narratives around trauma evident in every story, made it clear that theology needed to be more readily in dialogue with the field of psychology. He concluded with a question:

'Is it better to do the right thing, or is it better to be treated right?'

Being treated right is the way of justice. But if 'doing’ the right thing (behaviour or performance) takes precedence over 'being’ treated right, we merely have a performative, action-based religion that cares nothing of the interior life and does nothing for the human flourishing of people on the margins. It becomes tokenism; painful, particularly when we have been tied to a system that has never considered our equality and flourishing a birth right.

My thesis has always been ‘If we are all made in the image and likeness of God, then why are some of us treated as 'less than'. To be made whole – is to have the same grace bestowed as our more privileged counter parts, who have enjoyed exclusive benefits in the church and wider society for centuries.

Listening for grace:

In the final reflections at this conference The Rt Rev Rob Wickham CEO of Church Urban Fund stated that when he first took on the role, he spent the first nine months listening. He quoted Dietrich Bonhoffer – who said before one takes to the public market place to speak, one ought to the take to listening. Wisdom! Yet, I doubt if a black woman declared that she would be taking the first nine months to listen; whether she would be extended the same grace.

Whilst at the conference I heard ripples of concern – ‘questioning the effectiveness of the new West Midlands Racial Justice Unit (WMRJU). What exactly are they/we ‘doing’? Four months in! A team, dispersed, working on such a challenging mission, with half the man power? Surely there should be more grace.

“You’ve been here since July…" one person said; “…and nothing’s happening!” Words relayed to me, whilst the person overlooked the fact that our team had gone out of its way to visit their region, to make things ‘happen’. I understand their anxiety, but in wanting to operate relationally rather than transactionally, our presence seemed not to be enough.

Canon Dr Mukti Barton – who served for over a decade as Birmingham Diocese first Bishop’s Advisor for Minority Ethnic affairs under the (then) Bishop John Sentamu- once stated that a lot of this work is invisible. This is evident. I guess it’s natural to expect that we will not be thanked for all that goes on behind the scenes, because it looks like nothing is happening to those that are expecting instant, hit the ground running, high impact, industrial like action without the deep foundational work. That’s simply not sustainable and sounds too much like the colonial plantation model.

Help us to give birth safely.

We do not violently extract babies from the womb, do we? We let things come to term and midwife them into the world after nine months of incubation. Then we help them to walk and talk until it can stand on its own two feet. Nine months in this case would be a resurrection baby being born in April. The time to spring into action. Why then are we forcing early delivery? Understandable, we place real limits on time. But is it not about asking how can we come along side each other to ensure we produce healthy offspring? Lest the trauma aborts the mission?

Currently our team comprises of only 50 % of what was envisaged– which means we are under resourced, not financially but practically. You cannot effectively develop resources and disseminate learning without those essential people in place. Unless you are expecting others to pay a heavier price, carrying a back breaking cross that goes against the burden being easy and the yoke light! It is unrealistic and far too great a burden to place expectations on any one shoulder. I for one work 2.5 days and have no need to justify why or what I do with the rest of my time, even though others feel it okay to ask. But one can’t help but think people of colour are still labelled and stereotyped as ‘lazy, lacking, not good enough and second rate' and so the anxiety stakes and questions are raised higher for that reason. Perhaps as pointed out in the beginning, we were never viewed as deserving of real space or time to flourish, because quietly we are not viewed as being made in the image and likeness of the creator, thus are not deserving of the same grace. I find myself asking are we being set up to fail?

The work of the wounded healer.

Whilst we are called to serve those on the margins, the poor, the widow, the bruised and afflicted, my question is who tends to us? How do we do that work – when we too represent those on the margins, the poor, the widow, the bruised and afflicted? Whether people of global majority heritage or UK Minoritized Ethnic; neither a stipend, a collar, a doctorate, important titles or prominent roles, will shield us from the adversity of systemic and structural oppression. Whether desiring to upturn the tables, speak truth to power, ‘chant down Babylon’ or be more Christ like -however you articulate your mission, one can easily become fatigued trying to disentangle from the invisible matrix like plantation structure that we were born into.

The answer to my question came in our breakout group from our WMRJU Director Dr Revd. Evie Vernon who pointed out the concept of the ‘wounded healer’. Perhaps what we represent. Indeed! We don’t have the luxury of time to wait until we are ‘fixed’ to do the work, so we navigate the minefield and risk of re-traumatising ourselves (and others) in service to the work. Yet, our liberation is tied up in relationship. We are each others neighbour despite what has happened historically, psychologically, spiritually to us. We are all traumatised to an extent but some of us more than others.

How do we mindfully tend to the wounds of others whilst desperately needing to tend to our own?

The pandemic and the murder of George Floyd in 2020 gave us the permission to talk about the disregard of our black bodies and the impact on our mental health (a taboo in the black community). Alongside the call to serve, we hear ‘take up your cross’. But the weight sometimes feels too much to bear and the walk an uphill challenge.’ As Daniel Matavu a member of general synod pointed out in a session on Racial Justice:

“Take up your cross and follow me – said the lord. But we have all been given different crosses to bear. When I was born, I had no idea how big a cross I would have to bear because of the colour of my skin”.

This is by design!

In conclusion, the Anglican Minority Ethnic Network’s conference provided a valuable opportunity for reflection and dialogue on the theme of ‘Being Made Whole.’ The reflections and insights highlighted the importance of being treated right, of having an holistic relational approach; the need for dialogue between theology and psychology, and the concept that those of us doing this justice work are inevitably the ‘wounded healer.’

As we seek to challenge systemic and structural oppression and promote racial justice, it is crucial that we approach this work with grace, patience, and a deep understanding of the challenges and barriers that marginalized communities face. We must challenge our own assumptions and biases, and work to create spaces that are inclusive, equitable, and just for all.

For those of us who are racial justice leaders, it is important that we extend the same grace and support to our colleagues and partners that we would offer to a white male established clergy that inhabit their privileged positions. This means recognizing the pioneering and often invisible work that is being done and the unique challenges and barriers we face. It also means being willing to listen, learn, and grow in our understanding of the issues at hand and walk alongside one another in doing it.

We are ALL made in the image and likeness of our creator (Genesis 1:27). Let us find grace as we wade through unchartered territory and navigate new terrains creatively. Together.

So be it!

I would like to acknowledge the assistance of the AI language model in helping me to refine and clarify my thoughts and ideas in this piece. I sometime use if for brainstorming and editing, but all insights and reflections are my own."